Official shellfish? Simple mollusk? Crustacean? Or just a hard thing in salt water?

What truly are these things called "clams?" Who cares? People love them like their own pets.⁠

People in strange rubber pants scoop them out of the ocean. People sell them in high-priced fancy seafood joints.

People love to dip them in butter sauce.⁠ Lots of butter sauce. Beautiful golden butter sauce. Mmmmm...

No matter that the insides of a clam look like a tiny rubber embryo. N.O. M.A.T.T.E.R.   

There are many ways to enjoy the humble clam (hiding its soft heart under that tough facade), including: clams casino, clam cake, clam dip, clam liquor, and a pizza called “clam pie.”⁠
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Let us also not forget the 70’s band, Chic, who immortalized clams in their song, “Good Times” with the line, “Clams on the half shell and roller skates…”⁠

Do you want roller skates with your clams? 
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jIMMY bITCH